- Written by veenabk05
Do you wonder that what is the correct manner to say NO to your child? Is there any way to say NO to toddlers or teenagers without actually refusing them? Raising children is not a piece of cake. Bringing up kids with ethical values is a challenging task. Though the aunty in your neighborhood or your mom/ mother-in-law has suggested you innumerable tips and tricks to refuse children, the era has been changed. The present generation demands more politeness, respect, and non-violence in others’ speech than the earlier one. Hence you need a crafty yet perceptive approach while answering the little ones, especially when you are going to refuse them or say NO to their absurd demands.
How to refuse a child in a polite manner?
You can decline your child’s futile requests politely by rephrasing your words and by following these tips:
• Give other choices
Offering them other better choices will also help them differentiate between needs and desires. If your child unnecessarily asks for a thing that he/she simply ‘wants’, you can suggest them to choose an item that they ‘need’ as well.
• Promise to buy or agree after a certain period of time
If the child is unwilling to take another recommended option, you can comfort them or promise to buy after a certain period of time. For example, after they will score well in their final exams or on their next birthday. But be sure to keep your words, as your child will follow your actions and learn to keep their promises.
• Explain why you can’t say yes
If the demand is insignificant and the child is not even ready to negotiate your terms, you can explain your reasons for refusal. Explain your perspective in a relaxed frame of mind and using gentle words.
• Allow now, but not again
If the discussion between you and your child begins to take a bad turn, you can wrap it up by saying you’re going to allow them this time, but you’re not going to let them do it or repeat it. Share your thoughts on this decision as well.
• Understand their perspective
As a parent, you’re not supposed to just talk or command. You should also be an excellent listener. So if your child is stubborn upon his urge, ask him the reasons and try to understand his perspective. Step into his shoes and you may find their demand logical.
• Explicitly communicate the rules.
Set broad rules and let them know their boundaries. They should be explicitly conscious of their Do’s and Do not’s. Ensure the rules are flexible and broad enough for them to be followed willingly and comfortably.
• Win-Win Negotiation
Win-Win Negotiation is a settlement wherein both parties (parents and children) happily and mutually agree with one another over a certain issue. So you can say, “You can take it if you do that.”
• Listen to their reasons
Find out why they’re asking. You may find that their requests make sense. Have an open conversation with your child and have an insight into their emotional state. Maybe they have a great idea that you can join in on as well.
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